Why can’t Heroes just have balls?

HEROES: 3.17 “Cold Wars”

The Bicker Brothers strike again.

Ok, first, I just have to take a couple paragraphs from TV Squad’s review, because it just made me laugh out loud.

Well, the three stooges pretty much hogged up the entire episode, didn’t they? In the end, it was Moe who had to come along and save the day because Larry and Curly kept bickering with each other to the point they were both captured. But who stayed captured? And what did they find out that was worth all the throwing around and breaking of mirrors? *yawn* Man, it turns out the stooges aren’t nearly as fun to watch as I remembered.

The good momentum established in the first three chapters of this volume were completely squashed as the action ground to a screeching halt in this episode. We did learn that HRG is clearly a loyal lapdog to whatever cause he’s behind. We know this because his memories as he sees them are in black-and-white and everyone knows dogs see in black-and-white … yep, that’s right. I just totally wasted your time with that lame-ass joke. You’ll never get that time back.

Ok, now for my thoughts. I basically agree with TV Squad, in the sense that I just got tired of all that bickering! My god! I mean, Suresh, Parkman, and Peter were terribly obnoxious. I know that’s nothing new for Suresh. (Can’t we kill him off already? And really, four tranq darts to take him down? I don’t think so. I think a Benadryl would do the job just fine.) But usually I like watching Parkman and Peter.

I would have thought Parkman would be acting a wee bit differently. I mean, the love of his life just kicked it, and he’s just Mission Man (buy him a cape). True, I think we’re supposed to realize that he really was upset by his insistence that “This isn’t about Daphne!” (Methinks the lady protests too much), but in the end, it was just annoying.

And about Daphne. Why can’t Heroes just have balls? Why do they need to bring every character back? Don’t get me wrong. I love Daphne. I was very disappointed they “killed” her in such an anticlimactic way. But Heroes needs to learn something from someone like Joss Whedon. Sometimes, you just have to kill people off. And yes, it sucks. But you know, that’s how you get viewers to have a reaction. But when you do kill them off, do it in a way that makes someone shocked. Not in Anticlimactic World where the deceased just stand around in their little boring purgatory going, really? That was IT? (I hear Elle is the queen of this world right now!)

But, Daphne’s back and I like her, and now Parkman has a purpose to his life again. My guess, though, is that he’s going to get angry at Peter for ripping him away from the people that would take him straight to her, assuming that he’d be able to get out of the captors’ grasps and save her once in the facility. But that’s all speculation.

But we did learn something. First, we learned that with the return of Tim Kring, we get Season 1 of Heroes. Second, we learned that to fix the flaws of the past season and a half of the show, we need to reproduce Season 1 of Heroes. Also, we learned that in the coming weeks, you’ll see Season 1 of Heroes.

Here are the main points:

  • Horned Rimmed Glasses guy Bennet is either good or bad, but possibly good. Probably good. Let’s go with probably good. Even though he looked bad. And he probably is bad to some degree.
  • Bennet is rounding up heroes to put them away. The new bit here is that he’s doing it because he was bored with retirement. Or so he wants us to think. (Usually, people just buy sporty cars.) Oh, and he’s collecting them all instead of just the bad seeds.
  • New York City Washington, DC is slated to be blown up by a nuclear disaster. We saw this because of Isaac’s Parkman’s drawing on the floor.
  • Nathan’s mom is either good or bad, but possibly good. Probably bad. Let’s go with probably bad. Even though she looked good. And she probably is good to some degree.

So there you go. You’re caught up with Season 1 Season 4 of Heroes. In the great scheme of things, Sylar was absent from this episode. That was a relief. He and his daddy issues are really getting on my nerves and I’m very much not caring. His character is done. There’s nothing else to build on. I mean, he had his “Am I good” life question, it was answered, he’s done. Ironically, he was really done and over in the first season. I guess it’s appropriate that he’s back since we’re reliving it.

Ando and Hiro were also missing. Probably good because I had no idea why they were in India last week.

I do like that they’re focusing on only a few characters at a time now. That is something from Season 1 that was positive. Kring did good with that. Let’s keep it that way. Much easier to concentrate on, and it definitely helps with the character overload.

Especially if it means Sylar’s not in an episode. Maybe Microwave Boy can have him drive off a cliff or something. He’s not invincible yet, right?