The Client List: An Early Look

What’s coming up on Sunday? Jennifer Love Hewitt returns to TV in a new series based off the Lifetime TV movie (that earned her a Golden Globe nomination), The Client List. The show, with the same name, takes a slightly different take on the events, and it should be interesting to see how it breaks out of the mold from both the movie and the real-life events. The show premieres on Sunday at 10/9c.

I’ve had the opportunity to watch the first episode. If you don’t know anything about the show (and don’t want to), you may want to stop reading. I don’t try to spoil here, but some things must be said, and let’s face it, I gotta say them. Keep reading after the break if you want my thoughts.

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State of Georgia: May I Introduce You to Raven’s Boobs

STATE OF GEORGIA: 1.01 “The Pilot”

I didn’t have high expectations for State of Georgia. In fact, I would say that I expected it to be really really awful. I was not surprised. It was, in fact, awful.

For one thing, I’m not a fan of Raven. In fact, the only time that I might have ever liked her was when she was on The Cosby Show. Since then, she’s been a lousy actress who doesn’t seem to get any better. Dear god, remember That’s So Raven? Uggh. Awful.

So giving her another series really didn’t seem like a great idea to me. What I wasn’t expecting, though, was to find out that in this series, she was supposed to be a sex symbol. I can’t explain to you how uncomfortable I was being that close to Raven’s breasts. Perhaps that’s the problem with growing up being a child star (well, at least until The Cosby Show ended) and then moving on to be on Disney Channel. When you start exposing your breasts, the audience gets a wee bit uncomfortable.

Meanwhile, we had the rest of the series. As a fan of both Loretta Devine (from Eli Stone) and Majandra Delfino (from Roswell and Celeste in the City), I thought that perhaps they would bring the show hope. Unfortunately, there just wasn’t anything there. Don’t get me wrong. Any scene that didn’t have Raven in it was significantly better than any scene with Raven (though that’s not saying much), but it still had a stilted, unrealistic quality about it. In fact, I felt like I was watching a play.

Seriously, the way the episode started, forcing strange action as a stranger walked into the store, in order to string in the idea of what the plot would be (Georgia’s audition), as if we were in the middle of the action but not). It was as if I had just seen the curtain open, and Georgia and Jo were standing there, waiting to start once the applause ended. And then the acting felt overproduced and stage. Think of the first scene in the apartment. How Georgia’s aunt was dramatically gesturing around the apartment, as Jo and Georgia were strategically poised in the living room, almost unnaturally. It was just…weird. It was not today’s sitcom. I can’t even say it was yesterday’s sitcom. It was just…weird.

And frankly, beyond a few comments about poor Jo’s hair (really, the only original thing being brought into the series), it wasn’t all that funny. Georgia’s “seduction” scene was just odd. Seducing with chicken? Biscuits and gravy? Sure, she’s from the south, but at that point, we’re bordering on stereotypical in a disgusting way.

Plus, her breasts were there. I mean, obviously there. [[Shiver]]

Anyway, just as I expected, the show was just bad. Needless to say, I won’t be coming back. If any of you lost part of your soul watching this crap, I do apologize. And Loretta and Majandra? I won’t blame you if you take it off your resume once it’s cancelled. In fact, I just might recommend it.