You’re a liar, Hannah Montana!

HANNAH MONTANA: 4.12 “Kiss It All Goodbye”

As a slight side note, I’m not sure how this title for the episode really fits with the content. It fits with Miley’s final song, sure, but as for the actual episode, well…

I think if Miley had found her happy ending after the big reveal a few weeks ago, we’d all be complaining that this wasn’t a realistic show at all, even in our already suspended sense of disbelief. I personally liked that Miley was attacked for being a liar. I could entirely see a mother asking how she’s supposed to teach a child how to not lie when her biggest role model was, in fact, a big fat liar (see my previous post, “What they SHOULD have asked”). That being said, having only two callers attack her didn’t give me the real feeling that everyone hated her. I could see them adding a few more seconds of footage in, just showing Miley’s crumbling expression while voiceovers of caller after caller asked her accusing questions.

I would have also liked to see more of the press, and I hope that they’ll continue to show Miley looking ridiculous in the media so it’s not an easy ride for her. After all, if it were easy, why would there be Hannah to begin with?

Overall, an ok episode. You know, I can’t quite think of anything particularly humorous in the episode, so I supposed that’s a failure on some terms. If the show’s not all that funny, will it really grab the kids’ attention anymore? In fact, should I really be writing an analytical review of a show like this? Analyzing other ways they could really show people hating Miley? Is that the kind of show this really is?

Bah, enough of that. Let’s move on to Rico.

As much as I dislike anything Rico-related, I must say, I actually enjoyed seeing Rico’s mental breakdown for not realizing that Miley was Hannah. Perhaps it’s because he wasn’t trying to be obnoxious. He was out of his element. But it was quite nice to see the softer side. Considering that he really was the closest one to figuring it out (think of the episode with the Bone Dance) and he was the one who saw both Hannah and Lola (tennis match episode), and he prides himself as being a genius, of course he would take it to heart.

But Jackson’s way of revealing that he wasn’t the only one fooled? Fantastic. Considering that Rico always has his gospel choir with him now, it was great to see the solo act to help him out. Nice.

Also, how has no one asked about Robbie Ray yet? He was the weak link of the entire facade. He always said that he was Hannah’s dad, and yet, people knew Miley’s dad, Robbie Ray, was a former musician. Can someone open this one up to the public so we can all have a “Duh!” moment? That fake mustache wasn’t fooling anyone.

Finally, if you haven’t realized it yet, we’re transitioning. From Hannah to Miley in show and music. That final song was no Hannah. I hope the kiddies still liked it, flying hair and all.

P.S. – I still don’t believe that Miley would have gotten into Stanford. She claims her grades were great. But we had multiple episodes where her grades just weren’t cutting it. Where did this come from?

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Hannah Montana: What they SHOULD have asked

HANNAH MONTANA: 4.11 “Can You See the Real Me?”

After the last new episode of Hannah Montana, I didn’t really know where the show would be going. After all, Miley revealed herself to be Hannah. I guess the writers didn’t really know where to go after that either, because instead of plot, we got a clip show, disguised as Miley’s first interview since coming out.

Don’t get me wrong. As far as clip shows go, this was a creative way to do it. And it was kinda fun seeing some of the clips again and going, hey, I remember that episode. (Though, really, I was more excited that there were some episodes I didn’t recognize. Not because that means there’s more Hannah to see, but because next time my husband makes fun of me for watching endless reruns, I can rightfully say that, no, I haven’t seen them all a million times already. Just some.)

The interview itself, well, I’m curious to know how they structured that. Clearly, the questions were scripted and some of Miley’s answers were, too. But the writers must’ve given her some freedom to answer some questions as she wanted, just as long as she landed on the right segue, because some of her answers just seemed cobbled together, like when she was trying to discuss how her friends and family kept her grounded.

The writers clearly wanted Miley Stewart’s words to echo the feelings of Miley Cyrus as she says good-bye to the series and Hannah concerts. Whether it was reflective of real life, well, I don’t know.

Really, there’s not much to write about the show, since the vast majority, we’ve already seen. So let’s have a little fun.

Let’s be honest. The interviewer, Robin, really wanted a fluff piece. Any other journalist would want the real answers. Like some of the ones below, all based on events in Miley and Hannah’s lives:

  • So if you were Hannah this entire time, how do you explain dating Jackson a few years ago, and his declaration of his love for you. Are you a proponent of incest?
  • All this explains to some degree the relationship you both had with famous actor Jake Ryan. In fact, many remember the humiliating moment when you showed up with Jake at a premiere even, unshaven and in a swan dress. Who is the real you? Or is this Miley we’re seeing here even a facade?
  • Let’s discuss your friend Oliver, who won a singing contest singing one of your songs, at which you were a judge. Was that rigged? Did you coach him?
  • Hannah Montana has her own drivers’ license. Can you explain how you got that, if indeed Hannah Montana wasn’t ever a real person? Did you forge documents?
  • Basically, what you’ve told the world is that you lied to them for the last six years. How do you think your fans will feel about having their biggest role model be a liar, especially since you lied to them? (Actually, I think we might get to this in the next episode, if the promo was right.)

Those are just a few. What else would you add to put Hannah in the hotseat?

Bye-Bye, Hannah Montana (and Lola, too)

HANNAH MONTANA FOREVER: 4.09 “I’ll Always Remember You”

Well, if you didn’t know this was coming, you must’ve missed the news that this was the last season of Hannah Montana. At some point this season, Hannah would have to disappear, and Miley would have to step up into the spotlight. It’s a little early, as there are some more episodes left this season (take a look here), but it was the episode, and it was certainly a biggie. This isn’t the end of the show, but it was the end of Hannah.

I’m glad it was Miley’s choice to reveal herself. There were a lot of instances where Miley almost got discovered–or Hannah almost got discovered–so in a season where Miley was growing up, it was only right for her to grow out of the blonde persona and become the woman that she really was, at the loss of the icon (and Lola).

Now, I will say, the good-bye scene between Miley and Hannah certainly was a bit cheesy, though I suppose necessary. Personally, the fact that Miley was letting Lily jeopardize her future was ridiculous, and while Jesse’s infamy may fade, it wasn’t fair to him either. For a character like Miley, who’s always twisted things her way, it was needed, even if we had a moment where she was again talking to herself (much like she talked to herself after Blue Jeans turned into Miley in “Miley Says Good-bye?”). And, of course, the flashback moments were necessary to get the heartstrings successfully pulled, but sitting side by side with Hannah as she came out of the closet was a little over the top. But since my heart was already pulled in so many directions, Miley’s mouthing “thank you” was a good moment.

I only wish Lily had been able to have the same moment. We start at the start of the episode with her trying to convince Miley that it was important to tell people that Lily is Lola, only to discover the people really didn’t care. While Lily wasn’t Lola as long as Miley was Hannah, the moment she took off her wig during Miley’s final song and looked wistfully at those pink strands were the moments that I almost felt moisture in my eyes.

Will Miley’s world ever be the same? Well, I guess we really don’t know. I doubt it will be, and since there are episodes to come, I’m sure we’ll hear a lot about whether Miley thinks she really did make the right decision. My real question is whether she really will get into Stanford (personally, I was surprised that either she or Lily even applied there; I never thought Miley focused on grades, especially after the biology/Bone Dance episode where she just aimed to get a B) and how people are going to react to who Miley really is.

Personally, I would have made this the series finale. These questions aren’t ones that necessarily need to be answered, and I think people could imagine what Miley’s future would be–good or bad, as they’d prefer. But I suppose we’ll see in the months to come. But in the meantime, I guess we’ve said good-bye to Hannah Montana.

And on the bright side, to that awful fake mustache of Robbie Ray’s, too. I mean, really. How did people not see through that?

Oh, and as a side note: Sienna, Rico, and Jackson’s songs were all horrible and potentially ruined the episode. I know we needed comedic relief, but Robbie Ray’s one-liners really did the job. Those just needed to go. Every last one of them.

Also, how desperate is Jay Leno? Clearly, this was his publicist’s attempt to get him on the good side of viewers again. If you grab the kiddies, you get everyone else, right? Eek. Too bad it wasn’t Conan. Now that would have been something to see.

Hannah Montana: Jake, the heartbreak kid

HANNAH MONTANA FOREVER: 4.05 “It’s the End of Jake as We Know It”

If you didn’t know Jake would be out of the picture by the end of the episode, the title of the episode says it all. And honestly, I’m disappointed.

We worked really hard to get these two together. I mean, we’re talking multiple episodes spanning seasons. Miley was finally happy. Sure, he was out of the picture because he was his own star, working on his own things, but I liked that he was still the boyfriend. It seemed right.

Now, I can understand why they’d want him and Miley to break up. After all, it’s Miley’s senior year. What will she be doing if she’s not dating and meeting people? That part is still disappointing, but it make sense. But how they did it? Come on!

We’re not even supposed to like Jake anymore. He didn’t even tell Miley the truth! He just kinda realized she knew. Did he actually apologize? I can’t recall. But overall, having him cheat on her was just uncool, and I wish Miley had a little better than that. Heck, I thought Jake would have a little better than that for his sendoff. What did this actor do to Disney to make them so mad?

Honestly, here’s how I think it should have played out: The two should have broken up because they couldn’t handle the long distance relationship. Honestly, what high schooler can, other than Lily and Oliver? Oliver finds out (who knows how) that Jake is coming to visit Miley for the purpose of breaking up with her, and that’s the big secret that they don’t want to tell Miley. Miley’s so happy to see him that they never get the chance, and then bam, brokenhearted with the breakup, and she discovers that Lily and Oliver knew for two days…but they didn’t want to ruin her special. Now that would have been heartbreaking and sad, and while we might be a little mad at Jake, it wouldn’t be as mean to the character and we could move on.

And for any ‘shippers out there, you’d still have hope that they’d get back together.

There are my thoughts on the matter anyway. What do you think? Will you miss Jake? I actually will.

Now for the things I’m going to ignore: I’m going to ignore that there was no reason behind why Oliver’s drummer would be sending a picture to Oliver of Jake kissing another girl. The only reason I could see is if he was like, wow, I just saw Jake Ryan! Here’s a picture! As opposed to, I know you know Jake’s girlfriend, so wow, which, of course, Oliver wouldn’t, as I don’t think Jake and Miley are public. But who knows, because…

Apparently they were quite happy to have Jake always be seen with Hannah. Did you notice that Miley was always Hannah when she saw Jake? He called her Miley, but she was dressed as Hannah. Here’s hoping no one realized that little quandry in public. Not only would Miley be heartbroken, but she’d be outed as Hannah Montana. How complicated.

Hannah Montana: Forever-ish

HANNAH MONTANA: 4.01 “Home Sweet Hannah Montana”
HANNAH MONTANA: 4.02 “Hannah Montana to the Principal’s Office”

First, let’s just take a moment to comment on the new title of the fourth season of Hannah Montana: Hannah Montana Forever. I find this a bit strange, especially since it’s common knowledge that this is the last season of the show. So really, it’s not all that forever as much as it’s the last chapter. So we should really call it Hannah Montana: The Last Chapter. Oh, but have to forget that the movie ever happened because all of that wouldn’t be canon (after all, an entire town in TN knows the truth, and if I recall, Jackson is supposed to be in school in TN–didn’t he already start, too?). So really, it’s Hannah Montana: The Last Chapter Ignoring the Movie. I guess that’s a long title for the fourth season.

As for the show itself, we’re not looking at any surprises. We’ve got your typical storyline–which is what we want to see, right? My only lament is that we got rid of Oliver, leaving a lot more room for Rico to have an appearance. While I enjoyed his traveling choir in the second episode, I much more enjoyed his absence in the first episode.

Jackson’s still a delight, probably more so now because they’re trying to make him seem a little more normal and impressive than disgusting and smelly, but then again, there’s time to get there. And Robby Ray is still the same, especically where his hair is concerned.

Lily and Miley are now roomies, living in a barn. I always find it surprising how TV always gives teenagers the freedom to have rooms they can easily go in and out of easily. We’ve seen Miley sneak out in the past. Do we really want to give her that freedom? And while, yeah, it’s cool to have a whole barn room to yourself, if I were Lily, I’d choose to redo the pink room just so I could have my own space. But that’s just me. Roomies are for college, really.

And isn’t that what we’ve kind-of turned to? I mean, the entire second episode seemed ridiculous to me. They had to register Miley early for school or else she couldn’t register until the second semester? I see how that would work for college, but by all appearances, Miley goes to public school. Can they really banish a student from public school? Further, what kind of principal would allow Hannah, with no transcript, address, background, etc., just join up? Celebrity or not? And why was there no concern that Miley, the real person, would be throwing away her education and chance for college while Hannah was in school (or for that matter, waiting a semester to register for school). It seemed like a stretch long before we got the Obama-impersonator involved.

Which brings me to another peeve. Hannah Montana did meet the President–the President from Corey in the House. If we’re going canon, that’s the President she should have been calling, unless Obama beat him in reelection, which is just for the entire cast of Corey in the House.

I guess what I’m saying about Hannah Montana Forever is that if you’re looking for something that you can’t think about in any possible way, here’s a show for you. But Hannah does have better hair this season, and it looks like we have some more songs, so there is a bright side.

Hannah and Carly will continue to duke it out

Looks like Hannah Montana isn’t the only one with new episodes to come.

iCarly‘s Miranda Cosgrove just signed on for another season of the hit Nickelodeon show, meaning there’s much more web-TV-on-real-TV to see (well, and on the website, as well, I suppose).

Basically, it looks like both series have a brand new season ahead of them, so what’s next? This is just my assumption, but to me these two shows look like rivals, so it’s kinda nice to see that iCarly‘s stepping up to compete longer with the Disney craze. Maybe iCarly can now take over Target.

I must say, what surprised me most about the article was that iCarly is the top series for children ages 2 to 11. That means two things: First, the target audience for this show is much lower in age than Hannah Montana, who really focuses on the tween audience. Second, I can’t believe it’s that popular, and it hasn’t yet taken over Target!

Sorry, I guess that’s my own issue.

But anyway, good for iCarly. As you know, I’ve somehow gotten a bit invested in the show, and it’s nice to know that these poor teenage actors and actresses won’t end up on the streets.

Now, whether iCarly will go beyond the next season or tap out at the same time as Hannah, I guess we’ll have to see. But in the meantime, at least we’ll have a lot of entertained children for the next year or so.

*image from buzznet.com

Hannah Montana: Will Miley leave Malibu?

HANNAH MONTANA: 3.30 “Miley Says Goodbye? Part I”
HANNAH MONTANA: 3.31 “Miley Says Goodbye? Part II”

I’ve got a secret. I’ve already seen the second part of the Hannah Montana season three finale cliffhanger. I know whether Miley says goodbye.

Ok, it’s not that big of a secret. You, too, can see the second half before the episode airs this Sunday night. Disney sneakily released parts one and two as part of a DVD of episodes, so if you’re anxious to find out what happens, there’s your chance.

So here’s a bit of a sneak peak at the episode, so obviously, if you don’t want any teasers, no matter how vague they are, I’d suggest you stop reading now.

The first half of the episode was, well, a bit fluffy. I mean, based on the commercials, you were really expecting some major angst on behalf of Miley, Lily, and Oliver. But really, it was Miley versus horse.

Have you ever wondered why horses kick? I bet they’re just angry that any time they’re depicted with human voices, it’s always a weird, distorted, funny one. I bet horses talk normal. But that’s an aside.

I thought it strange that all of a sudden Miley wanted her horse home. I mean, did we really know she had a horse? Has she mentioned the horse before? It just seemed out of the blue. And when I saw the commercials, I thought it was silly, too, that she’d bring it to Malibu. That certainly wouldn’t work.

I didn’t expect the horse to follow her around, though, which was mildly entertaining. The dream morph, though? That was a little over the top. But hey, it moved plot, leading to the cliffhanging statement: “I want to move to Tennessee.”

image from shineon-media.com

[Part II–and possible spoilers–after the jump!] Continue reading