Thursday Open Thread: Most Memorable TV Wedding Episodes

Welcome! It’s a new year with new Thursday Open Threads. Or at least it better be. I’m going to do my best to keep up with them this year, especially given the lack of threads in December. Whoops.

Anyway, this week, I decided to choose something that feels odd to talk about in the first week of January, but I’m going to do it anyway. Earlier this week, E! released an early look at Blair’s wedding dress from Gossip Girl. Now, I don’t watch Gossip Girl. I didn’t even know Blair was getting married. But I do like weddings, and it naturally reminded me of Brooke’s wedding dress in One Tree Hill, and I just started thinking about TV weddings. Which makes me ask…

What are some of the most memorable TV wedding episode?

This could be weddings that happened — or almost happened. After all, TV is most painful when the wedding is called off, right? And that certainly makes something memorable.

Now, this may be a test of the demographic of my readership, as I’m sure that some people would just have to say Bo and Hope from Days of Our Lives. Of course, I don’t remember this. This was in 1985. Any TV I was watching then was more what was happening on Sesame Street than Salem.

And, of course, the One Tree Hill  brides come to mind, mainly because with the exception of Brooke and Julian, they all seem to end in some horrible way — the bride collapses in a bloody mess or a kid gets kidnapped by a psycho nanny. Oh, and let’s not forget the limo being driven off a bridge, and the groom jumps off after it, leaving a crying bride screaming after it.

Ok, so that might be the most memorable.

But here’s another alternative. How about we go back to the old family sitcom? How about Jesse and Becky from Full House? Jesse goes skydiving the day of his wedding (naturally) and then gets stuck in a tree, falls in a tomato truck, and gets put in jail. Of course! Oh, in the end it’s all happy. In fact, you can watch Jesse’s song here (man, how could I forget the impromptu gospel choir at my own wedding?).

Oh, who am I kidding? One Tree Hill wins. What do you think is most memorable?

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After this, we all need plausible deniability

GOSSIP GIRL: 4.05 “Goodbye, Columbia”

Umm what. is. this. crap. This story line is getting way out of hand. Fake STDs, stolen phones, stolen cabs, stolen bottom halves of Juliet’s dresses…?

Many of the characters were actually involved in the same plot line this week! Hurrah! So let me see if I can sum up this doozy of an episode. Juliet starts a rumor that Serena has an STD, and then withholds sex from Nate until he gets tested, which makes Serena angry at Nate for not believing that she’s clean. Nate needs his best girlfriend Dan to come to health services with him, which leads Vanessa to think that the test is for Dan, even though he swears he didn’t sleep with Serena, and makes Vanessa insecure enough to let Juliet talk her into stealing Serena’s phone at the party of the week, which gives Juliet the opportunity to email one of Serena’s professors with an offer to trade sex for grades and then plant the phone in Vanessa’s bag. So as a result, everyone loves Juliet for “exposing” Vanessa, and everyone hates Vanessa. And scene!

As far as Blair and Chuck go, I must say: yawn and double yawn. Blair breaks up Chuck and “his future”, so he takes her TA job away? If the writers weren’t completely sabotaging Chuck’s character, he would be on a plane to Prague to get Eva back, not messing with Blair on the lamest of levels. He is definitely stepping up his game by bringing back Jenny, however. Her Blair smackdown will be better than whatever mewling story line these two had this week.

I am still loving Dan and Nate’s courtship, more specifically how Dan had to make sure the lingerie wasn’t for Nate to wear and how Dan was jonesing for a hug. Hehe.

And now, two rants. Juliet is allegedly worried that Nate has an imaginary STD from Serena? When they “met” he was working his way through Chuck’s black book of prostitutes. I would be more worried about them than some little Gossip Girl post. Also, not sure what the show is saying when Blair gets the assistant position with a prominent businesswoman by getting her a man? What does that mean exactly? Girl power through promises of hot men? Really? They couldn’t have Blair propose an insightful business plan instead of dangling a lawyer in front of her? Meh.

Next week: Jenny! No Vanessa!

Chuck and Blair. No limit to the angst!

GOSSIP GIRL: 4.04 “A Touch of Eva”

Oh, Chuck. Oh, my darling. That was just heartbreaking. Ok. From the top.

Chuck is the new Mr. Popular. Eva seems to be bringing out the best in him, and everyone is happy about it. Everyone except Blair, of course. She tried to stir up trouble with the Cartier video. She tried to turn Chuck against Eva by exposing her “waitressing job” for what it really was. And when the truth didn’t work, she just outright lied. Blair, if you were so worried about Chuck’s loosing his heart to the wrong person, and Eva repeatedly came out on top, maybe, just maybe, she was the real deal. Did you ruin it for Chuck because you were jealous that he was finally happy and you weren’t? Or did you do it because you wanted Chuck back? Was this because she, and not you, finally made Chuck a good person? Or did you do it because you are just that awful a person? Whatever Chuck dishes out for you in the upcoming episodes will be your just desserts. His face when he thought that he was unloved, yet again, his run when he realized Blair set him up, and his pleas to Eva not to leave were all just heartbreaking. “Don’t leave. Everybody leaves”.

Serena is STILL obsessing. Let it go. Serena’s awful storyline can be summed up as follows. She wants Dan. She wants Nate. Dan is with Vanessa. Nate is “with Juliet”. She tries to woo Dan by wearing some weird cut out dress. She tells him she was coming home to decide between him and Nate, and then (shocker!) he sneers his way back to Vanessa’s waiting arms and the birdcages hanging from her ears.

Please forget whatever I said last week about the pace of Juliet’s storyline. Nothing is revealed. Nate suspects, Juliet lies. Nate believes. Nate suspects. Juliet lies. Nate believes. If Juliet puts the tags back on clothes and fakes living on Park Avenue, where is she (1) getting what had to have been a hefty wad of cash to bribe that doorman and (2) HOW is she handing out keys at the exclusive Hamilton House? Answer me that, show! Soon, please.

And now on to my favorite GG couple: Dan and Nate. Since the premiere, they have had this fantastic, matching-shirt, squee-tastic bromance that has been the highlight of each episode for me. I loved the way Nate whined his way into Dan’s good graces and then guilted the hooker information out of him. I hope they keep this dynamic up.

Next week: Gossip Girl spit chain!

Gossip Girl: They’re baaaaaaack!

GOSSIP GIRL: 4.03 “The Undergraduates”

The girls (and Chuck) are back in town! Let’s see what these crazy kids are up to.

Juliet-gate: My first point of contention: if Juliet and Nate are both members of Hamilton House, then why did he not know her in the restaurant when they “met”? Also, Serena has really been getting her Jessica Fletcher on! First, she figures out the whole Harry Winston diamond heist, and then catches on to Juliet so quickly. Detective Barbie is actually working for me. I was also a big fan of her DvF showdown dress; it gave her this wicked witch of the west vibe when she stormed into the party of the week.

Rufus. (shakes fist at sky!). Since when do you actually want to parent? I get it, your daughter’s honor was tarnished, and you’re upset about the pilot’s roof scene, but is it your “responsibility to make sure no one else’s daughter get hurts like [yours] did”? Spare me.

Oh Lonely Boy, remember when this show was about how you and Jenny were trying to fit into this world? Me too. Sigh. Readers, what were you doing your sophomore year of college? I was fighting with my boyfriend about the fact that I mentioned some guy that I hooked up with in an away message. I wasn’t moving in with him to raise a BABY that wasn’t even his. That said, there is nothing sadder than an empty nursery. I felt so bad.

Eric got a hair cut (!!!) and umm.. a really pink shirt…. Second point of contention: if Eric knew Chuck’s true nature and couldn’t keep it to himself anymore, why was he all buddy buddy with Chuck when Lily and Bart were dating? Don’t the writers have a chart or something? Continuity, people!

Dan and Serena: LOVE the brush-off. love it.

Nate and Serena – double love the brush off. FINALLY. I think I actually said “oh snap” at Nate’s parting line.

What I loved most about this episode, however, is that what would have taken weeks in past seasons was all wrapped up by the credits. The plot is moving much faster this season: Chuck and Fleur Delacour, Dan and Vanessa, Georgina’s Russian hitman escape, Serena figuring out Juliet is evil, etc. Confrontations galore! Lies everywhere! While the season is moving along quickly, they are still pacing the overarching plots well, especially the Juliet one.

My bets are on Fleur’s being a princess. Blair shouldn’t be the only one who gets to star in the GG version of the Prince and the Pauper!

Gossip Girl: Recrap

Gossip Girl: Episodes 3.13-3.17

Hello again, Gossip Girlies. Because I’ve been traveling so much, I’ve been unable to watch Gossip Girl.  When I got back, I sat down and watched 5 episodes of it in a row.  If I were in high school, my SAT scores would’ve gone down 150 points.  Anyway, in the past 5 episodes, a lot has happened, but we’re sort of where we started:

  1. Serena and Nate magically got together.  They wanted to take it slow, but because Serena’s a giant slut, they’re already sleeping together.  She still hasn’t gotten the fashion memo dictating that if your top is low-cut, then you should probably wear pants.
  2. Nate was mad at Serena because she pretended to forget his birthday.  Then, he realized it was an elaborate surprise, and he likes to have a lot of sex so they had some.
  3. Jenny almost lost her virginity to the drug-dealing ambassador’s son.  But then she didn’t.  He’s gone now.
  4. Rufus and Lily caught Jenny with the pills.  Rufus exiled her to Brooklyn until her boyfriend dumped her.  She was sad, so he let her do whatever she wanted again.
  5. Lily kissed Serena’s father last summer.  This made Rufus angry so he went to some chick’s apartment, but didn’t sleep with her.  He left his scarf, there, however, which Lily got from the doorman. Apparently, Rufus’s neck is immune from cold.
  6. Because Rufus was angry, he lived in Brooklyn with Jenny for a week.  Lily left his scarf on the table, preventing him from getting swine flu.
  7. Jenny tried to make good by re-entering the fashion world.  Unfortunately, Agnes gave her roofies.  Nate came to her rescue, and Jenny’s unresolved feelings for Nate resurfaced.  So now she’s back in love with him and kissed him during a game of assassins, but he’s still with Serena and not little J.
  8. Dan and Vanessa tried really hard not to be annoying.  It didn’t work.
  9. Dan and Vanessa are dating now.  They tried to take it slow but wound up having sex.  Apparently, it’s better when Hilary Duff isn’t with them in the bedroom.  Better for who is my question.  Also, can anyone keep their pants on in this world?
  10. Before they decided to date, Dan and Vanessa faked having significant others at some completely unrealistic “South Beach” party so they wouldn’t have to acknowledge their true feelings for one another. (Read more after the break) Continue reading

10 Things We’ve Learned From ‘Gossip Girl’

CC schools us on Gossip Girl.

GOSSIP GIRL: 3.10 “The Treasure of Serena Madre”
GOSSIP GIRL: 3.11 “The Debarted”

Oh Gossip Girl, you’ve taken us to new levels of ridiculousness this season, and the past two episodes have been even more absurd.  Let’s recap what we’ve learned, shall we?  Because if anything, Gossip Girl is all about teaching us life lessons:

10.  If a family member has died in the past year, he will come back to tell you that you’re a failure…especially if you’re eighteen and running a multi-billion dollar company while all your buddies are in college.

9.  Failure also means showing any display of emotion.  If you reveal that you have emotions, your dead dad will tell you that you’re weak.

8.  Wolves (or really large wild huskies) apparently roam free on Long Island, taunting drivers and causing congressmen to pull a Ted Kennedy in Chappaquiddick.  They really shouldn’t give politicians licenses.

7.  Policemen are so stupid that if you crash your car, flee the scene, but make the 911 call, they won’t suspect you of any wrongdoing.  Especially if you move your passenger who smashed the windshield on that side into the driver’s seat.  Because when you hit your head on the windshield, ladies and gentleman (I assume no men read these posts), you do so diagonally over the steering wheel.

6.  If you’re going to make out with a Congressman, don’t do it in an elevator.  That will allow people to take surveillance footage and out your affair to your mother.

5.  Don’t assume that finding a pregnancy test in your house means that your mother’s preggers.  Maids can have sex, too.

4.  Attractive dudes with man bangs will still profess their love for you and sleep in your hospital room even after you’ve rejected him 6 times for his much older, uglier, and married cousin.  And really, let’s be honest, ladies and gentleman…never date anyone named Trip.

3.  If you have a threesome, and fall in love with someone with whom you had said threesome, it causes your body to create a new face.  Not only do you create a new face that creeps everyone out, but everyone can tell that you’re in love.  The new face, however, precludes you from actually getting the girl you love…which is good ‘cause it’s Vanessa.

2.  If you are 16, gay, and recently out of the closet, you have nothing better to do than take down the evil Snow Queen…who is also your stepsister.  We call her the Snow Queen because she finances her kingdom by selling coke with an ambassador’s kid.

1.  Most importantly, appearances are deceiving.  You can think you can have a happy marriage, even while your husband keeps a mistress.  You can think your wife is helping her sick mother, but she’s really off talking to one of her ex-husbands (or sleeping with him, we’re not sure yet).  You can think that your mother’s preggo, but it’s really your confidante.  You can think your daughter hates you, but really, she’s just scared because she loves you so much.  You can also can think your daughter is a massive whore, and well, she just might be, but at least she didn’t die when her married boyfriend crashed his car into a wolfpack.

Until we’re back from hiatus (and thank God we’re having one because maybe the writers can get it together), XOXO.

Gossip Girl: “The third person’s always a stranger.”

XOXO, CC.

GOSSIP GIRL 3.10 “Last Days of Disco Stick”

This week was a completely thematic Gossip Girl, and wherever there’s a theme, there’s Lady Gaga. Seriously, if you guys haven’t gotten “Bad Romance” in your head, then you may have a problem. In case you haven’t heard, last week, we had a Gossip Girl threesome. This week, we had a whole bunch of threesomes. Unfortunately, Lady Gaga wasn’t in any of them, but she was on the show!

Our first threesome, is of course, Olivia/Dan/Lameface, I mean, Vanessa. Dan is feeling pretty proud of himself for convincing his girlfriend and his best friend that’s had a secret crush on him her entire life to walk down Three Way Avenue. Dan used to be a nice guy, but now he divulges all of the sordid details to Nate, who tells him that ménages must only be done with a stranger to avoid awkwardness. I was a little surprised Nate didn’t feel awkward about his ex-girlfriend having a three way with his Dan. Were you?

Dan encounters Vanessa and awkwardly tries not to be awkward by inviting her to a Morrissey concert. Because when you’ve been silently in love with someone your whole life, the best thing to do is hear about becoming closer the more you’re ignored by your beloved…even if you’ve had a threesome. Upon hearing Morrissey news, Olivia volunteers Dan to be a playwright in a performance thrown by the Tisch kids that Blair desperately wants to befriend, er, rule.

Dan puts on his play—a “subversive” Snow White. Blair is the evil queen (of course), and Olivia is initially Snow White. However, because Dan doesn’t really know Olivia (get it, she’s the stranger!), Vanessa is ultimately saddled with the role. Dan realizes that he’s in love with Vanessa for some ungodly reason, but she decides to start dating the male overlord of the Tisch School. If anyone was hoping for a three way that involved two dudes, my money’s on this threesome being it. Hey, the Tisch guy likes Lady Gaga; I’m sure he’s got to explore his feelings at some point.

Trip and Serena also decide to explore their feelings. I almost gave Serena credit for wearing an appropriate work outfit. Then, I saw the back. If you’re an employee, and you’re trying to get your boss to not want to sleep with you, a backless minidress is probably not the answer. Trip’s moving to DC soon, and his wife asks Serena if she’ll help Trip pack their home office since she’s leaving early. Serena decides that this is a terrible idea so she goes off to hang out with Nate, despite not talking to him for the past month.

Serena/Trip/Maureen are the first threesome in this scenario. Serena and Trip are old pals, but she can’t possibly ruin his marriage to a stranger. Nate decides to entertain Serena so that she can’t answer Trip’s call/see him/sleep with him. This plan would’ve worked brilliantly had Nate not fallen in love with Serena’s pouty face. They were about to kiss, which would’ve made me happy because Nate has not had enough to do this season, and then they were interrupted by Trip who’d learned of Maureen’s hoax. This established the Nate/Serena/Trip threesome in which Serena chooses to go to Trip’s place and sleep with him.

The final threesome was the best threesome…and actually included a stranger. Chuck had the Belgian ambassador and his son staying in his hotel. Because Jenny can’t find a date, Chuck and Lily had Jenny show him around. It turns out, however, that he’s really a drug dealer who abuses diplomatic immunity. Jenny was very close to taking some pills when Chuck intervened. Later, she texted her ambassador friend to say, “we should hang out again sometime.” I think that this would be really interesting. We already know that Jenny’s lonely, got a rebellious streak,  and her best friend hates her so much he doesn’t bother to appear in the episode. As such, a fall down the rabbit hole isn’t out of the realm of possibility. Do you think we’ll see it? Will Nate get Serena back, and if so, what will Blair do? Until then, XOXO.