What’s on tonight? Tuesday edition.

What’s on tonight, America? Well, not The Secret Life for our sakes. ABC Family’s finally giving us a break from that crappy show. No, I did not watch last night’s episode. No, I don’t want to know what happens. And yes, I wouldn’t mind pushing the entire cast and the creator, Brenda Hampton, into a lake. Much like Luke did to Jess in Gilmore Girls.

ABC’s got some new shows premiering. Homeland Security USA is a new heart-warmer for all you that need some of that action. (Might also let you appreciate delays with airport security, who knows!) The real ABC story, though, is the new episodes of Scrubs, which makes its move from NBC to ABC tonight. I’ll definitely be catching that. Then there’s a new episode of Primetime: What Would You Do?. I don’t even know what that show is.

CBS has a full night of new episodes of old favorites for you crime buffs out there: NCIS, The Mentalist, and Without a Trace.

NBC brings us back to “reality” with a two-hour Biggest Loser: Couples and then follows it up with a new Law and Order: SVU. Not exactly my night of TV, but I guess some people like that.

The CW is giving new episodes of Privileged and 90210. I’m not an avid watcher of these shows, but I know some people are big fans, so I hope you all enjoy it! I’ll be on the Scrubs train.

And as for FOX: a big nothing new after last night’s failure of a Fiesta Bowl (as a Buckeye fan, I’m heartbroken). Too bad. I’m looking forward to new Fringe.