Rookie Blue: It’s no Southland

JC here, to tell you why not to bother with Rookie Blue.

ROOKIE BLUE: 1.01 “The Pilot”

I just want to say a few things about ABC’s new cop show, Rookie Blue. And I mean, just a few things. I’m not going to spend a lot of time on it because it doesn’t deserve it. Frankly, this show sucks. You may have heard other commentators talking about how this is essentially Grey’s Anatomy (a show for which I have zero love for, by the way) transposed to the police force, and anyone who’s said that is right. But while dialog leaden with nervous quick-talking and verbal quips may work in the realm of a hospital, it falls flat on its face out on the streets. Sorry folks; people don’t talk that way, and you can’t fool us into thinking that they do after we’ve been exposed to shows like Southland. I was a bit surprised to see the collective scores on Metacritic hovering around a not-putrid enough 52. The harshest review, from The Hollywood Reporter, mentions that its inexcusable for a modern cop drama to be located in an unnamed city. The city, afterall, should be a major character in a show like this. They’re right, of course, but almost everything else is a problem here. The over-the-top acting and melodrama (the scene where she finds the murderer; so much cheese!), the absurdly attractive cast who look like they should be in an Ambercrombie catalog instead of patrolling the streets, the misunderstood criminal (of course the kid is good at heart, and just killed the drug dealer because he was scared for his sister’s well-being), the tough-as-nails training officers, and of course the disgraced dad-cop storyline. The cliches are everywhere, and far too blatant; a show like this may have worked… almost twenty years ago, before Homicide: Life on the Streets broke the mold. Now-a-days, you’ve got to be a bit more subtle.

No doubt about it: this show is bad. But I think I’m extra mad at it because it has a prime-time network slot, albeit in the summer, while Southland has to deal with a slashed budget over at TNT. Life on the streets ain’t fair.

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Like ‘Better Off Ted’? Root for the Celtics

No really, those two things are related.

It appears that if the Celtics win tonight, not only do they get a shiny trophy, but we get two brand-new episodes of Better Off Ted. That’s right. As long as the NBA Finals don’t go into game seven, we’re set for seeing the final two episodes of Better Off Ted.

According to HitFix:

The situation goes like this: ABC will be airing the NBA Finals in June. Game Seven of the NBA Finals is slated for June 17.

However, if Game Seven isn’t necessary, ABC has slated two episodes for “Better Off Ted” to air in the 8 p.m. hour (followed by four repeats of “Cougar Town”). Those two episodes — titled “It’s My Party and I’ll Lie If I Want To” and “Swag the Dog” were left on the shelf after “Better Off Ted” completed its spring run and was eventually canceled.

Now, the big question is whether we’ll see these episodes if we do have a game seven. I’ve heard in some places that they might burn them off at a different time, but others say that maybe they’ll never be aired (and I assume they’d only be on the DVD set).

Don’t get me wrong. Basketball’s great and all, but I’d love to see me some new episodes of Ted. It’s a fun, quirky show, and it’s disappointing that it was canceled. Like with Scrubs, ABC didn’t really give it a fair shot. If you can tell me when it was on, you’re better than I am. The duo was shifted around so many times it was infuriating–especially for a fan.

Anyway, root for the Celtics. Give Ted the farewell it deserves. Plus, there’s a lot of Boston fans up here that would appreciate it, too. Just sayin’.

image from Yahoo TV

More things we learned on Lost (and a lot more things we didn’t)

CC’s back–with some more Lost theories!

LOST 6.05: “The Lighthouse”
LOST 6.06: “Sundown”

I know.  It goes without saying…spoiler alert.

What We Learned:

1. Jack has a son named David. At first, I thought that this was Aaron all grown up, but then I realized Claire’s alive and just had her kid. There’s internet speculation on the mother. Pretty much no one thinks it’s Sarah (and I agree). The internet thinks that it’s Juliet. I secretly think that it’s Kate because Jack said something about there not being anything between them anymore (and now he’s divorced).

2. David is a piano prodigy with a love for Chopin. Interestingly, David played the same song that Farraday was playing when he was a little boy. Did anyone else notice that when David was trying out for the conservatory, a sign said “welcome candidates?” I’m not sure what that means, but it’s Lost so it means something.

3. Jacob, despite being dead, appears only to Hurley. Lost has a lot of references to religion, and if we look at the show through the Christian lens (yes, Jack’s name is Christian), then we can really start thinking of Hurley as a prophet. That is, if Jacob is God. Or Jesus.

4. Christian’s will included Claire, although Jack had never heard of her. Again, it’s destiny for them to meet.

5. Claire’s roaming around the island. She thinks the Others have her baby (just like Rousseau did).

6. The reason Sayid was tortured was to find out the balance of good and evil in him. Apparently, it tilted too much towards evil, as was Claire’s (which is interesting because she was never one to kill people back home in Australia). Anyway, remember when Smokey threw the white rock into the ocean? I’m wondering if he’s not trying to collect everyone who’s imbalanced (like Sawyer), getting them off the island and leaving the good people to die. Yes, it is as ridiculous as it sounds.

7. The Samurai was the only person keeping Smokey out of the temple. Sayid killed him, and so now, Smokey’s eating up anyone he can get his hands on.

8. Nadia is alive in the parallel universe, but she ends up with Sayid’s brother, who takes out a bad loan and gets himself in trouble with the guys from the freighter (who killed Ben’s daughter). Jin apparently worked in the restaurant or something because he was hiding in the freezer and for some reason Sayid spared him.  Did anyone notice that Jack was in the hospital when Sayid’s brother was admitted?  Again, it’s weird how they are all destined to be together.  I’m just saying it over and over…

9. There’s a lighthouse on the island with a dial that can be turned. It seems that every candidate listed in the cave also appears on the lighthouse dial. At 23 degrees (Jack’s number), Jack could see his childhood home. Jacob wanted Jack to turn it to 108. Incidentally, that is the number of minutes between number entering in the hatch.

10. Jacob made Hurley take Jack to the lighthouse in order to prevent Smokey from getting him in the temple. He wasn’t allowed to warn anyone, but he needed to get his two candidates away from danger.

What We (Still) Haven’t Learned:

1. Everything. No seriously, the teaser for this week’s episode said that questions will be answered. Looking at my questions from last week, none of those have been answered one bit.

Crazy Hare-brained Theory of Mine:

The episode with Jack was a lot stronger than the Sayid-centered episode. A lot has been made on Lost of the conflicted relationship between fathers and sons (Jack, Sawyer, and Locke being prime examples). I’m wondering if Jacob is Smokey’s father, and this is an act of rebellion. Jacob realized that his son wasn’t a suitable heir and he’s off looking for candidates. It reminds me of when Marcus Aurelius gives Maximus emperor in Gladiator instead of Commodus, his son. And so Commodus kills his father. It’s eerily familiar.

6 Things We Learned on ‘Lost’ (and 10 Things We Didn’t)

CC catches us up on Lost.

LOST: 6.03 “What Kate Did.”
LOST: 6.04 “The Substitute”

I’m just going to preface this by saying spoiler alert.  But really, did you need me to?

6 Things We Know:

  1. We know that the numbers represent people that Jacob brought to the island as candidates as its protector.  Locke, Sawyer, Jack, Sun/Jin (we don’t know which one), and Hurley are all candidates.  Interestingly, I didn’t see Kate as one.
  2. Smokey still doesn’t have a name, but he wants to get off the island.  Of course, it’s unclear why he needed to embody Locke in order to do so.
  3. It’s true that Sayid is not himself, and The Others were trying to poison him.  Not that we know why, who he is, or who’s got his soul.
  4. Claire was destined to keep Aaron.  Remember when her doctor said that she shouldn’t get rid of him?  Well, the marriage of Aaron’s potential adoptive parents had dissolved so when she got to LA, they weren’t able to adopt anymore.
  5. Claire is still alive, but she’s not herself.   In fact, she’s inflicted with the same disease as Sayid…not that we have any clue what that is. When Jin gets caught in a trap while running from Aldo, Claire’s the one that shoots two of the others.
  6. Unlike Lady Gaga, Sawyer finds it important to leave the house wearing pants.

10 Things We Don’t Know:

  1. Who was the little boy running through the woods that Smokey and Sawyer kept seeing?  Was the fact that they were both candidates allow them to see the boy?  And if so, does that mean, the boy (who reminded me of the cover of Lord of the Flies) is really Jacob?
  2. What was up with the rock and scales in the cave?  I feel like a lot has been made of good and evil.  Jacob is always represented by white, and I assume that means he’s supposed to be good.  Does the fact that Smokey threw the white rock in the ocean mean that the balance between good and evil is off?
  3. Where did Claire go this entire time?  How did she get sick/poisoned?  And where the hell is her kid?
  4. Will Sayid recover from his ailment?  And if not, who has taken over control of his body?  Jacob?  Who’s got Claire’s?  Farraday’s mother?
  5. Why does the island need protecting, and who or what does it need protecting from? Widmore?
  6. Why is Jacob looking for candidates?  If he was allegedly immortal (save for his experience with Smokey), then why does he need to find a replacement protector?  Did he want to get off the island, too?
  7. How were the candidates selected?  There’s very little by way of connective thread among these characters.  More importantly, it seems that there were a lot of extraneous people that Jacob had to bring to the island in order to get them there.
  8. Who is Smokey?  Why was he rejected as a potential candidate?  And more importantly, why does he need to inhabit Locke’s body to get off the island?
  9. Will the paths of Locke and Shephard cross in the parallel life?  Much like Claire keeping her baby, it seems that Locke is destined to walk again, and I assume it’s going to be Jacke’s doing.
  10. Most importantly, if we’re in 2007 on the island and the parallel time is 2004, then how the hell did the candidates get back on the island?

Maybe we’ll get some answers tonight, but seriously, I doubt it.

Worried about ‘Scrubs’ and ‘Better Off Ted’?

If you’re anything like me, you were all ready to nestle into the couch and watch a new episode of Scrubs this week. Ok, maybe you don’t nestle. Maybe you were going to plop down in your leather recliner and watch Scrubs this week. Either way, you were probably very disappointed.

Why? Well, the final two episodes of Scrubs have been moved once again. This time, to March 10 and March 17. Two episodes. Two 30-minute chunks of time that ABC can’t seem to make room for.

And, if you’re anything like me, you’re already wondering if Scrubs will be picked up next season. For that matter, what about Better Off Ted?

Well, they’re both on the bubble, and are currently in “burn-off” mode, where all ABC’s trying to do is burn off the episodes. But at least Scrubs has a burnoff date, even if it does keep moving around. Better Off Ted isn’t even on the schedule yet with its final two episodes.

Now, I have to say that part of me is an optimist. A rather sarcastic optimist, but I am hoping that this move for Scrubs is to allow the show one last chance (well, two last chances) to gain viewership and to prove that it’s worth being renewed. I mean, if they showed it this week, wouldn’t it have lost viewers to the Olympics? Quite possibly.

So that’s my glass-half-full hope. But sadly, there’s worse news.

It’s no surprise that Sarah Chalke is finding other work. I mean, she’s not a regular on Scrubs anymore. But today we just discovered that Donald Faison–Turk–has signed on to a new pilot. Now, while the new cast really does focus on the newbies, Turk is still a main character. Would we have a Turk-less Scrubs? Or a Scrub-less Faison?

And it’s not just Scrubs. It looks like one of the leading ladies on Better Off Ted is looking for greener pastures. Andrea Anders, who plays Linda, has just signed on for Mr. Sunshine, another upcoming comedy for ABC. I’m not the biggest fan of hers (sorry, but Joey was just a wrong choice), but somehow seeing main characters signing up for other projects really isn’t what you want to see if you’re hoping for renewal.

But they are ABC shows, and as we’ve seen with other castmates–say, Christa Miller, who is on Cougar Town but also appeared in Scrubs as a guest star this season–there’s always an opportunity to do both. But for some reason, my optimism is wavering…

So if you like the shows and want them to stick, you better watch them when they return. And it couldn’t hurt to let ABC know you’re a fan. After all, a last ditch effort is better than no effort at all.

UPDATE: Well, it looks like Anders isn’t the only one leaving the office. Ted himself, Jay Harrington, just signed on for a pilot with NBC. Looks like Better Off Ted is probably dead. Whether we’re better off, we’ll never know.

LOST: Everyone’s dead. Unless they’re not dead.

CC takes us back to that fateful plane crash…

LOST: 6.01 (Parts 1 and 2) “LA X”

In the interest of full disclosure, I have a conflicted relationship with Lost. I started off a massive fan, got bored/thought it was getting ridiculous, didn’t watch a lot of Season 3 and picked it up back up because my roommates were watching in Season 4. I’m watching this season not out of total devotion to the show, but more out of curiosity.

That said, I will be your cruise director for the final season so here it goes. I assume if you’re reading this, you watched every single minute, rewound a few times, and looked up the symbolism of the ankh on Wikipedia (seriously, what’s with all the Egyptian symbolism?). Unfortunately, none of that will give you answers in a season that’s supposed to explain over what we’ve been obsessing.

I thought the season premiere was quite well done. I really liked the parallel structure of the episode—wherein we see that the hydrogen bomb detonation didn’t work (or maybe it worked) and yet was still destructive to our survivors.  We also might’ve happened/actually happened  to everyone if/when the plane landed safely in LA. That was really important, not just because a lot of people’s fates were sealed. Rose presumably still has cancer; Shannon stayed back with her boyfriend; Jin and Sun were tense with one another. Sawyer’s a con artist (and prob. going to con Hurley). Locke is still paralyzed; and Kate’s on the run from the US Marshal. It was an important reminder of the characters’ past. Those scenes also suggested that everyone’s lives away from the island are indeed more miserable than their lives on it.

More importantly, it was important to see that in a lot of ways, the island served to redeem our characters. Charlie got clean and saved everyone (instead of going to jail and getting caught up in drugs). Jack was a heroic figure, but also, was able to step outside his father’s shadow (I really loved the scene, where Jack gives Locke his card and says nothing’s permanent. Maybe Locke was always supposed to walk again?). Sawyer and Kate shirked criminal activities and became leaders in their own right. Jin and Sun were able to find the qualities in each other that made them fall in love. My question is this: how the hell did Desmond get on the plane, and where did he disappear to?

In other confusion, there was an episode last year called “Dead is Dead” or something like that.  On Lost, that’s true… unless you’re not dead. So who do we think is actually dead? Obviously, Locke’s dead and his body is inhabited by Smokey (evil guy in black shirt) who killed some of Jacob’s army with the Smoke monster last night.  Even if you have a circle of protection, you are not safe which doesn’t bode well for everyone in the temple. Juliette’s definitely dead and buried (an aside: I thought Miles talking to her corpse was a little freaky and what worked? The bomb? Are we getting parallel episodes all season because they never crashed? And if so, why are they still on the island…did they all just end up there 3 years later?). Sayid might be dead, but internet theories are that Jacob inhabits his body the way that Smokey inhabits Locke’s. What do you all think about that? Seem plausible? And by plausible, I mean by Lost’s standards.

I’m most excited to see two things during this season. First, is the resolution of the Jack/Sawyer rivalry. It’s obvious that Jack and Sawyer have a terribly complex relationship. They’re at once rivals and colleagues. And yet, the blame that Sawyer’s placed on Jack because of Juliette’s death may be a running theme this season. Also, who ends up with Kate? Or does she end up with neither of them because of her past? The island is a place in which you can recreate your identity and erase your past, and I wonder if Jack’s idea has prevented her (and everyone else from doing that).

I’m also excited to learn more about Jacob/Smokey (he needs a name, seriously)/Richard. If Smokey inhabited the body of Locke, then is Richard just a shell for someone else? Is that why he doesn’t age? Is Jacob alive in Sayid, and how did he rise to mythical power? Who is Smokey? Why does he want to go home? Where is home? In Lost, we always get some sort of time travel—whether it’s actual time travel or flashbacks/flash forwards—and I’m hoping to see some for these characters. One thing’s certain: I’m going to have a ton of questions throughout this season.

Christmas comes with a brand-new special

I’m in the Christmas spirit, which is good. I’m being bombarded with Christmas all over the place. The strangest thing, though, is that I feel like Christmas specials are in short supply. Sure, they’re rerunning those of the past (like The Muppets’ Letters to Santa) and there might be some singing specials that I don’t care much about. Beyond that, you’ve got to go for the oldie but goody movies, like The Santa Clause and Elf. In fact, maybe you can help me out and suggest some of the new movies out there, so I can catch them.

Like what I’m about to suggest to you now. Have you heard of Disney’s new animated special, Prep & Landing? Basically, a team of elf operatives (called, of course, Prep & Landing) ensure that homes across the world are ready for Santa’s arrival. It’s actually got a great cast behind it, including the voices of Dave Foley and Sarah Chalke.

I’m surprisingly excited about this special, and I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s the Christmas spirit. Maybe it’s because it’s Disney. Maybe it’s because it’s an interesting premise.

Maybe it’s because there’s really very little on tonight, and this comes right before a new episode of Scrubs on ABC.

Anyway, I’m willing to check it out. It’s on at 8:30 EST tonight, and only half an hour. I haven’t seen anything except the same promos and commercials the rest of you have, but it’s got a fun little website, and it just looks cute! Check out the promo, and let me know what you think!