It’s been almost a week, and I’m still debating who’s right and who’s wrong on last Monday’s HIMYM episode, “Unpause.” What ended up being a very sweet episode on Robin and Barney’s part became a heart-wrenching one for Lily and Marshall, where issues buried seven years ago suddenly were brought back to the surface in a really ugly unpaused fight.
So you have to ask: Who’s side are you on?
Lily has a lot going for her. Marshall should have had a discussion with Lily before taking the judgeship in New York. Lily’s dreams were on the line, and Marshall just threw them away without a thought. And on top of it, he kept it a secret from her. They had plans, and he ruined them. And what’s more? He threw her actions from seven years ago in her face — something she thought they had gotten over a long time ago.
But for some reason, I’m siding with Marshall here. Perhaps it’s because we know more of Marshall’s side. We know that he was put on the spot and had to make the decision immediately. We know that he asked if it could wait a year, and he was told no. So he had to take his chance.
Now, let’s stop for a second. Should Marshall have brought up Lily’s leaving him to find herself in San Francisco? No. That really should have been let go of long ago. I’m shocked to know that he still thinks of it and holds it against her, considering how open they are with each other and how they insist that they don’t keep score. That was wrong. That was cold. And if we’re looking at that alone, I’m totally on Team Lily (and I would have run right out of that hotel, too). That was ugly.
But Marshall did tell Lily that he could talk about his job choice now. Lily claims that was too late — but is it? Could he not turn the job down now, even though he took it before? And isn’t there a compromise? Couldn’t he stay in NY for a year while she was in Italy?
Meanwhile, what is Lily asking of Marshall right now? Sure, he agreed to Italy, but he’s stalling his career for a year. Most likely, that year off will hurt his career in a way that would mean he’d never have an opportunity to become a judge. True, he would get to spend time with Marvin (and for all stay-at-home parents out there, I know that’s no simple feat), but he never seemed to be enthusiastic about the trip. At least not that I remember.
Is it a selfish decision? Yes, to a degree. But so is insisting they go to Italy, when Marshall has also been given a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Lily is looking at this more selfishly, though. While Marshall has been worried sick about Lily’s reaction, Lily has done nothing to but think about herself.
Did Marshall play an ugly card by mentioning her actions seven years ago? Yes. And he shouldn’t have. But Lily needs to be more fair in this argument. I’m on Team Marshall. How about you?