Demi Lovato: Single-handedly ruining royalty

PRINCESS PROTECTION PROGRAM

Yes. Yes, I did. I did watch Disney Channel’s original movie Princess Protection Program. And I must say this: I don’t think Selena Gomez can be in anything where she is not adorable.

Of course, she was being compared to Demi Lovato, who was horrendous, so then again, maybe Selena wasn’t as stellar as you’d think. But anyway, I did want to give Selena Gomez props. Because the rest of this post might be painful.

I’ll admit this openly. I’ve seen–repeatedly–The Princess Diaries and The Princess Diaries 2. Demi Lovato is no Anne Hathaway. In fact, Demi Lovato plays royalty the same way Summer Glau played Cameron in Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles: as a robot. Of course, Summer Glau was supposed to be a robot.

You doubt me? Think about when she was bowling. She tossed the bowl down the lane, then stood there and watched with no expression as people cheered around her and the pins came down. Considering how interested she was in winning (she did ask, after all), you’d think she’d have some expression when the pins hit the floor.

Further, I felt like this was a very forced, yet stereotypical, way of playing a princess. Would you really imagine that today princesses don’t dress themselves? I mean, even Mia picked out her own clothes in The Princess Diaries 2, let alone put them on.

I must also say that the story itself was a bit weak. I mean, someone wants to take over the crown–a crown that a 16-year-old will take over in a month. Um, seriously? First, they’ll really  have her rule at 16? That’s a recipe for disaster, especially if she can’t even dress herself. Plus, once she flees, who’s to say that this guy wouldn’t just through a coup and take over? What’s the 16-year-old going to really do?

Moreover, the end. There wasn’t time to add five extra minutes to explain how Carter’s father knew to hop in that helicopter and save the day? And I certainly don’t want to analyze the real legal actions of claiming that he was being arrested internationally for kidnapping. She was willingly going with him, for one thing. Add in how complicated international relations are and the hows and whys and processes of actually arresting a visiting foreigner–yeah, it’s much more complicated than they showed.

A few other notes:

• If you’re going to throw a sword at someone’s head, don’t miss. It’s much easier to hit the person in the head than to get it through the rings of a crown.
• Why wouldn’t her mother just go with her? I guess that was to prevent the whole coup thing I mention above, but really, she ended up kidnapped and in prison anyway. What’s the difference?
• Ok, so there’s a Princess Protection Program. Original premise for a movie, but really? There are that many princesses that need protection? Taking a quick glance at Yahoo Answers, it looks like there are only 28 monarchies left, so could a program really be run? Whether this is accurate or not, you’re really looking at the number of possible princesses that are in danger at one time. That can’t be all that high.
• So they’re in Louisiana, right? I’m sorry, Disney. But Louisiana has an African American population of about 33.5%, and I think I saw one African American student at that school. Um, what?
• Dear, Jamie Chung. I’m very sorry you had to go from Samurai Girl to this. And by the way, how old are you? You play 20-something a few years ago and 16 now? Wow.
• Little red-headed squeaky girl: Sometimes your voice was high, annoying, and squeaky. Sometimes it wasn’t.
• Did anyone else think that Rosie overreacted to the blackmail? I mean, she was going to hand over the crown (oh yeah, the pool scene made no sense), and then they would leave her alone about her secret. So why did she have to go back? That would helped nothing.

Overall, the movie was probably cute for a young audience. It did, overall, have a good, positive message. And I do ask that of the Disney Channel movies that I see. So that’s good.

But on a true level, it needed some work. And perhaps a better person than Demi Lovato. Disney, just because two people are best friends and they’re your new up-and-comer, that doesn’t mean you need to make them the poster child for any new project you do.

I thought you learned this with the failed TV show that is JONAS.

Recap Review: John Ritter on NewsRadio

NEWSRADIO: 2.05 “The Shrink”

I bought the complete series package of NewsRadio. By the way, I really don’t recommend it. The DVDs themselves are held by a spindle, which leaves a lot of room for possible scratch-age (in fact, I’ve already had to return the set once). So let me just state for the record that if you want to invest in this series, get the individual seasons.

Why do I bring this up? Well, seeing as I have the entire series, it means I’m watching it all very quickly to make sure nothing’s wrong with any disks before the return deadline is up. And you know, it’s fun!

I tend to remember guest stars on this show. Like Lauren Graham. She came in as an outside source that was supposed to cut fat from the company–basically choosing to fire Matthew. A lot of people tend to forget she’s on it, but I liked her. First saw her there. Long before Gilmore Girls.

But one guest star I completely forgot about is John Ritter, who plays the therapist they have to hire to help the group get over their many issues with each other. I’m a sucker for John Ritter, so this episode really sticks out in my mind. It’s not like when he was Ted in Buffy. As much as I love John Ritter, that episode was pretty weak. This episode is just the opposite.

Dave spends the entire episode jealous because this guy comes in and repeats everything that he has already told the staff and becomes 100% more effective in problem-solving. What’s more? Of course, he slept with Lisa. (At this point, doesn’t it seem like a lot of people have slept with Lisa?)

And of course, John Ritter fits the bill for this therapist perfectly. Who could think of a calmer, nicer guy? Thoughts of Buffy aside, I don’t think anyone couldn’t be pacified just by hearing his voice and knowing that he wants to know what’s going on with you. Perfect casting, and the contract between his calm and Dave’s stress level is fantastic. Especially when Dave accidentally walks into an effective therapy session. Nice.

It’s really just a comedic episode. Add in Bill’s random cubicle that he sets up for privacy (he can smoke and wear only his undies and be comfortable). I think I most enjoyed seeing everyone snap at each other for no reason at all–so relatable for anyone who works in an office.

Anyway, it was nice to see John Ritter again considering his gone-too-soon status, especially in this fantastic show. Of course, thinking about him being a sex addict. Well, let’s not think about that too much.

The episode (and series) are definitely worth checking out, and I hope you do. Oh, speaking of guest stars, I’ve moved on to one that guests Bebe Neuwirth. Fantastic show. Fantastic cast.

Looks like I’m going to have a great Sunday afternoon!